well let's just start from the very beginning.. a very good place to start... i met The Boyfriend (Andy) at the Viper Room on January 30th. At that point i was still swearing off boys and dating (although i would still late night rant & rave about being lonely and single on Twitter...).
I had built of a HARD shell. I had gotten the hang of guarding & protecting my own heart and had no interest in dating or letting a dude get even close to my heart. I had pretty much given up on even trying to dress cute. My neighbor Jenn was quick to point out how i regularly rocked a hobo style. I carried around a raggedy clutch & wore holly leggings on the reg. Oh and I pounded bottles of wine nightly, and got in the habit of introducing myself as Amber Mother Fuckin Lane.
yup i was REAL CLASSY.
my hobo chic days...
and that's exactly how introduced myself to Andy, complete with holy leggings and an "I don't get shit" attitude. I was cocky as hell, but on the inside i was still a mess. I had let part of myself go, part of myself that i loved and i shoved so far down inside myself. she was barely visible anymore. But she was still there somewhere waiting to come out, and that part of me was the one tweeting about her dreams, prince charming & the things she loved. All while Amber MFing Lane was wrecking havoc.
But Amber MFing was kinda of badass and without her I would never have met Andy. And on that January night i met my match in that sweet lil badass southern boy. Somehow he managed to sweep me off my feet and i haven't' looked back since (okay I have dragged my feet a bit, and done some kicking & screaming) but for the most part i've laughed, lived & loved. And those were things Amber MFing Lane wasn't exactly capable of.
I'm not gonna lie it's been scary hell to open my pretty little heart back up but I can't exactly resist a boy who sings me country songs, picks me flowers and talks to me cutest southern accent ever. He takes GOOD care of me! Okay i'll stop being so cheesy but clearly I'm smitten; and most importantly I more myself then i have been in AWHILE. I mean I'm back to blogging (aka sharing my emotions in the written form), driving my car again (well when Andy's not driving me...), oh and the holy leggings have since been retired (Thank you Jenn!). And shoot! I can't even remember the last time i had a glass a wine (I do enjoy beer still though...)
Andy & i at the Mc Donald's Premium Wrap Party
It's been quite the journey fixing the parts of me that need work, rebuilding parts of me that i lost & letting go of old habits (umm hello, defense mechanisms) that i no longer need to rely on anymore. I know this journey is far from over but I am grateful for everyone who inspired, encouraged and loved me along the way.
Until next time... i'm gonna keep cracking away at my own shell & dreaming away.
Have an amazing weekend!!!
xoxo Amber Lane