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Things I love: No Fear

It's Halloween which means typically this time of year I was decorating my house and classroom with all things Autumn. I used to celebrate the change of the seasons, I loved them and embraced them. Funny how here in LA the seasons all blend together with small changes here and there. And while the leaves might not be turning down here and sweaters are not needed, I instead am the one changing ... and that is MORE then worth celebrating.

I have been working hard to push myself emtionally and spiritually out of my comfort zone and I am learning more about myself then I ever knew possible. I am learning how strong I can be and how much control I have over my emotions. I'm constantly letting go of fear and emotions and pushing myself out of my box by diving into everything head first. And it's amazing feeling and I've never felt more me or this happy. 

Now I still have plenty of things I am still working on. I am still finding myself  and uncovering what my true passion is. I am working on my issues and I am working being able to open this pretty little lovable heart  back up, so I can once again share her with someone. I mean, let's face it, I'm not exactly jumping back into the dating scene, I've still got some fear to plunge through in the dating department.

It's funny when you face a fear how powerful you feel, and it can be a silly as my fear of acting like a goofball in front of the camera (but off camera I will goofball like crazy though).

Check out me goof balling and facing a fear of mine in this Freedom Forum Halloween PSA video .... warning Cassandra's humor is kinda out there, she clearly has no fears of acting like a goofball on camera...

And to see more of my thoughts on dating and being single at thirty please check out this Article that I wrote for Dirty and Thirty and our Spreecast chat about it as well. Clearly talking and writing about my feelings is a fear I faced by putting myself out in the blog world. And imagine I used to not even post my face on my blog... I'm glad this is a fear I long ago conquered!!

So go out there and conquer a fear, do something you've never done before, push your limits and see where it takes you. You may surprise you self like I'm surprising myself.

Things I Love: Priceless Tags

This time last year I was supposed to be in Spain. Which would have been my first time stepping foot on Spain. Let me backtrack here; last summer I was planning to visit Madrid and Barcelona and was planning to take amazing pictures, at amazing places, while eating amazing foods and drinking (probably drowning myself in) amazing wine.
And had I been there a year ago and gone on that trip, who knows where I would be now.
You see, that trip was planned with my ex-husband and, well, that trip never happened.
It's funny how people can hold things over you head and make you feel as if they, things, time and money are more worthy then you, and your gut feelings.
I never part took in the planning of that trip, nor was i excited about it. I think in my heart I always knew it would never happen. I mean, i had told my husband on our Euro-vaction the previous summer that I often thought of divorce and that the loving feeling I once had, was long gone.
I am grateful I had the guts to say no to that fabulous Spain trip, my comfortable life and our lovely home and; exchange it for a life, city and apartment which suits me much better.
I have still never traveled to Spain; and I haven't left the country since my last ill-fated Euro-Trip which was plagued with my bouts of pneumonia.
But in my life I have done somethings in my life that I always have dreamed of yet NEVER thought would ever come true.
I came from a world where you could only buy things to make you happy, like trips to Spain. And well, how can't you be happy about a trip to Spain?!
... I can tell you how...
Instead I now I find myself seeking happiness from within and from the art I create and the connections and relationships i build. And that, my friends, has made a whole new world of happy. A happy world that twenty-plus Louboutins and European Vacations never brought me.
Experiences like attending the 2012 VMA's, recording my first rap "song" and working on my art; are things you can't put a price-tag on. And yet, they are the things that have allowed me to feel the happiest I have felt in years.
And that realization means more to me then a trip to a place I will one day visit, and when I do visit Spain it will mean more to me then it ever would have a year ago today.

Where were you a year ago? Are you as happy, or perhaps happier then you were then? And what will you do, to make sure that eveyr year you strive to be your happiest?
I know I'll be following my dreams and I CAN'T wait to report back next September 12. But don't worry 'll be back before that!

Things I Love: Through Rose Colored Glasses

A couple weeks ago I hosted a SEE EYEWEAR giveaway on my Twitter account. I asked my followers to tell my why they deserved the glasses. And, well, when my friend Cassandra Hein posted that she needed a new pair of glasses because she currently rolls in free sunnies that she got from a bat mitzah - I not only laughed out loud when i read her response but i was glad she called her self out!
I'd been staring at those $4 frames for months now, too nice to mention them.
Good thing Cassandra is a good sport, and if anyone can pull off $4 glasses she can. But she can also rock the heck out of SEE Eyeglasses.
Cassandra and I had a fabulous time at the See Eyeglass store at the Beverly Store, the staff was a amazing as well. They picked out glasses for each of us and after trying on several pairs we both went with the first pairs the staff picked out for us.
So much fun and I am happy NOT to see Cassandra rocking these anymore ;)
Before:

much better!!
After:

celebrating the new glasses with some Coco Breve`

Thanks so much SEE Eyewear!! we had a blast picking out new glasses!!

Now I'm one pair closer to my goal of having a basket of glasses to grab from a'la Jackie Kennedy style.
Happy Friday everyone!!

Things I Love: ARTing it UP

Let's talk about blogging
and what exactly does it mean to be a blogger?
I started blogging (my first one here) because it was place to record, share and record my life and the things in that mattered to me.
and I always grew up writing in my journals (NOTEBOOKS) everyday ... oh and making 'zines.
As blogging evolved i followed the trends, like posting my outfits EVERY SINGLE DAY.
At that point putting outfits together, taking pictures of them and posting them was an escape.
I always wanted to be a model, a writer, a stylist, a socialite.
and my blog was a means to do that on the daily.
It was a fantasy of sorts.
My Blog served as a means for me to act out my dreams, when my world was anything but fairytale-like.
I used it as an escape and as my blog grew I was able to make money off it and was able validate all the time and effort I put into it.
And that's where things got fuzzy for me.
Right now I have blog posts I am obligated to write and they will get written...
but when I feel i have to write for someone else i feel as if my creative outlet is compromised.
But hey, i do have to make money, right?
I am beginning to realize that being an artist and making money off my art can be tricky thing.
Do people come to read what I write on my blog because I get to attend fabulous events and am gifted amazing things from my favorite companies?
Maybe.
Or do they read what I write and share because I'm honest straight forward and I do share things I love in my own ways
and when i feel excited about something?
Now that's the million dollar question.
All I know is i'm going to keep doing what i do. And I'm going to keep doing it my way.
Because my way is the only way I know how to do things and, well, it's gotten me to this amazing life that I always dreamed of.
So I'm keep on dreaming, sharing, blogging and staying true to myself.
okay now I'll be getting on those obligated posts.

... I mean after I work on my Art ;)
What have you created lately? I'd love to know!!
leave a link
and if you haven't created anything lately GO OUT THERE AND CREATE!!
Photo Credit: LordAsh Photography
Styled Credit: Amber Lane
Unif Flannel, Posso for Volcome Skort (YUP SKORT) Urban outfitters Bra Top

Party Time: Blast From the Past

Recently the Bollare team invited me to attend their latest client Wastland's party. The LA Canvas + Wasteland + Minkpink Wasted Daze Party was nineties teamed and was SO much  fun!! The event was nineties themed and was decorated like my middle school bedroom. My sister Andi and I hit he arts and crafts stations  and grubbed on Burger Lounge veggies burgers while the Dj's spun nineties hits. It was such a blast to indulge in my teenage loves. The only things missing was a middle school- esque crush ;)

The Tie-dye station was my a hit! So much fun I want to tie dye everything now!!

My creation:

The thought and details of the party made it a HIT!




Thanks again Bollare, Mink Pink, Shop Wasteland and LA Canvas!! Can't wait for more fun events!!

Things I Love: Dreamy Days

Today was one of those dream days I always dreamed about.
I started my day meeting with Amanda Thomas founder & designer of Luv Aj and fellow EFFEN Vodka Influencer (yeah I'm a bad influence like P!NK).
I got to check out her artista studio, chat to her about starting her own business and checking out her creations (interview post to come!).
I am so blessed to be an EFFEN Vodka influencer and to meet young motivated ladies like Amanda. I can't wait to party with her at the EFFEN Vodka event tomorrow evening.
I mean this chick started her company in high school, now that's BADICAL, she's a true inspiration.

As if that wasn't AMAZING enough, after chilling with Amanda I headed to the Warner Brothers studio to help style a mini-series (more deets on that later). I was *KINDA* dying when i got to enter the gates.
and if a day of work consists of shopping at Madewell, Anthropoligie, and Urban Outfitters sign me up PLEASE. (BIG THANK YOU to Marcy of The Marcy Minute).
It was magical to say the least!!


I have a busy week ahead of me but I am SO grateful for all the oppurtunities have been given!!
I truly believe if you believe in yourself and your dreams strongly enough you can make them your reality.
So go out there and DREAM, DO and celebrate!
i sure am!!
xoxo

Things I Love: Chapter 30

i no longer get sad down here in LA. I have WAY too much to be HAPPY about.
and i no longer let my old life effect me, my well-being and my emotions down here, as well.
but things aren't quite where i want them ... YET!
i miss having best friends i can call whenever i need them & i miss having a person there for me at the drop of the hat whenever i need them ... and by that i mean my MOM.
i (also) always miss waking up to someone or having the sole attention of one person.
i however do not miss fighting and that was something i did A LOT in my old life.
one day i'll have that love, devotion, and ATTENTION again.
but until then i love having MoTiVaTeD friends who don't depend on each other on daily basis, and i also enjoy having my princess bed all to myself.
and each night i lie my pretty little head down on my Barbie & hot pink sheets i dream of the day that
i will be snuggling up next to someone new and will be able to reflect back on my time of solidarity, strength & umm celibacy and be proud!!
and i vow never to fight with anyone ever again and to be there for everyone i LOVE through sickness and health
... until death do us part.
picture courtesy of LordAsh Photography

Unif Clothing Flannel, Urban Outfitters bustier
i am happy to focused, supported and am ready for a {ANOTHER} new chapter soon!! Always work towards that next chapter whatever it may be! xoxo

DiY: Mink PInk Supped UP SLASHERS

When my lovely Bollare gils asked me if Iw as interested in supping up a pari of Mink Pink Slashers I JUMPED at the opportunity. I mean I'm DIYaoholic who has been been off the wagon (or is it on the wagon...).
Here are some images of my design process but ultimately I went with a California themed/Sublime inspired pair of Slashers.
Complete with graffiti of my favorite sublime lyrics.



my art studio/bedroom/office

lot's of pinning & unpinning



So much fun!! Thank you Mink Pink, & Bollare!!
Expect more DIY's to come!! I've been art & CRAFTING it up. It's such a great way to keep my from lonely down here!!!

Things I Love: Teenage Dreaming

Following your destiny can be hard, and sometimes you can lose you way.
I'll be the first to admit i did.
but I'm back on track and I've never felt more ME then ever.
Case in point. Here are some images from my first Zine that I made back in the summer before eighth grade I was 13 and strangley enough, what I was doing that summer wasn't far off from what i am doing now...







Note the @ signs I used to mention Wetseal & Contempo... perhaps I saw Twitter in my future as well...

more on my take on dreams and destiny soon!
Until then, think about what you loved and enjoyed as a kid and teen. Do you still embrace those things now?
because I can tell you, i sure as heck do! I

Things I Love: The Summer Games

Today feels a little like Christmas for me. Why you ask?
Because the Olympics are starting!!
And imma an Olympic FREAK!!!
In 1984 I was only 2 years old but i still clearly remember & cheering on Mary Lou Retton as she locked in the gold. I was amazed by her and her abilities and drive.
It was so exciting to buy the Wheaties box with her on it. I remember staring at that darn thing so and being so envious of her gold medal and her Star & Stripes leotard (I STILL want one of those!!)
I was so enamored by her that my mom commissioned my Dad & his friend to built me a balance beam out of four by fours. And they plastered my Mary Lou Retton wheaties box picture on the base of the eight inch high beam.
Little two year old AdHd me would work that beam all day long. I was a toddler PRO. Soon after I started gymnastics with dreams of making it to the Olympics.
But those dreams were dashed early my flexibility, beam skills and poses were not enough and i was slowly weeded out. Kind of sad how children's sports turn in to full on competitions at such a young age and even if you enjoy a sport your always told you're not good enough.
I practiced gymnastics up until i was in high school not once ever on a competition level but  i still practice the mediocre skills I have now.
But every four years when that torch gets lit i get chills and it brings me back. The next couple weeks I'm most likely to be found glued to the TV and my schedule will revolve around the games. Four years when the games were held in Beijing I literally ended up getting on Chinese time because the events were on SO late.
Which was helpful when I traveled there a year later to see where all the magic happened!!
I deemed this the Matt Lauer tower... it was how all the magic was sent to me!!

Me + The Cube. I crushed HARD on Michael Phelps, I mean be both Loved Lil Wayne so it was bound to work. Can't wait to have some new Olympic crushes agains soon. I mean I haven't had one since Sean White.


and of course the Bird's nest.

But my favorite part of the Beijing Oylmpic park was the cheeky sign translations.


and of courseI had to show off my skills, Lei had me in that position but my splits are top-notch.

SO excited to watch the opening ceremony tonight. I can't wait to see the Royal family and all the athletes representing their countries!! Beijing will be a hard one to top, though!!
Now my dream is attend the Olympics, and ideally while working there .... I've got four years to work on that. Starting NOW.

Things I Love: Won't You be My Neighbor?

Life here in LA is pretty awesome, and i think i am adjusting rather well to it.
I love being able to walk everywhere.
The farmers market, Trader Joes and Cassandra's house are all within walking distance. And I enjoy walking home with my bags of groceries, or heading to Cassandra's to watch the Bachlorette and having a glass or two (or four) and being able to walk home.
It makes me feel kinda European and very much like a city girl. Most importunely it reminds me of being a kid and walking to school and walking down to Mandy's house. In those days my life the most important things in my life were within walking distance.Plus it's been a great way to meet people down here.
Some of my FAVORITE people here in Hollywood are the ones I met walking.
SPECIAL SHOUT TO: Beatrice from the Mondrian, Julianna from Lencieria (CHECK HER Bikini & Lingerie BOUTIQUE OUT!!), Bob Ross, Blaire and the rest of the Crew,  Zach & Jill at The London, Black at The Lounge and so many more!!
When I walk down the block it's fun to have people that know your name an to say hi to. Reminds me of being back at home, where everyone knows everyone (and everyone Business...)
I adored growing up in the suburbs.  And I couldn't have asked for better hometown then Pleasant Hill. But I always longed to live in a city, shockingly it took me 30 years to make the move and it's been FUN adjusting.
I actually spend most of time here in LA solo, which hasn't been the worst thing. At times i feel almost monk-like reading, writing and working on my art. And that "me" time has allowed me to understand that i can be happy all alone and that i don't need ANYONE to define my happiness.
I suppose I learned from my mother you can be perfectly happy and content by yourself. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with people  (i like to PARTY, DUH) but I have never spent this much time on my own and, well, it's pretty nice.
Love meeting new friends down here and forming new relationships down here!!
my new LA friends!! Jenna, Mollie Mary & Molly. SO grateful them!! xoxo

Although all my alone time makes for a pretty egotistical instgram timeline, i just like to think of it as getting my Frieda on...
I mean she the original "selfie" artista.
a moment alone when i allowed the "lonely" to creep in, and i fight loneliness with social media. 

Always remember to make time for YOURSELF.
You may actually, be missing YOU.
my instagram (screen name: Ambersnotebook) Look of the Day outfit shots are kind of a throw back to my original "faceless" Look of The Day posts...

I was...
remember you're never too old for Barbie pink sheets and a tiara... which was given to my by a valet - made my day!

and I'm glad i'm back.
But my improving, growing, exploring and changing will never stop.
There's always room for improvement ... and I still have a lot of improving to do!!

Look Of The Day: You're SUCH a Poser

Look of The Day posts used to be my jam. When my life felt like it wasn't the one i wanted
i always had my blog, i used to love bloggin about my outfits everyday.
And actually, it made me feel better about my life.
I was able to be creative with my outfits, my poses, my pictures (all self taken with a timer on my camera).
I also loved picking the best pictures (AKA getting my Anna Wintour on), editing them and writing an attempted clever post about it.
Blog titles, now those were the peanut butter to my jam.
or jelly...
Sure, i'll be the first to admit posting pictures (yet alone, TAKING pictures) of one's self is pretty egotistical & narcissistic.
But I loved it.
During that time of my life, blogging was one of the ONLY times I felt creative. Since then, outfit pictures have taken a back-burner to me because, first of all, i was focused on changing my life in a #MAJOR way.
But self-centered Look Of The Day posts also took a back-burner because well I felt like blogging (IN GENERAL) was becoming a popularity contest and I've always hated the "popular" phenomenon.
We're all individuals & artists at our core; and if we just look as blogs and art (HEY there, instgram is ART, fool!) as just creative outlets, then there is no need to compare, compete or question.
It's just us, or in this case, just me practicing what i love.
Getting dressed.
Styling, taking & editing pictures.
all while attempting to look PRETTY!!
....and well WRITING.
SO here are my first outfit pictures in almost a year.
Can't believe I haven't busted out my camera since December!!
Welcome to the new LA Amber in her new Girly Room... expect more Look of The Day posts!!


























Jessica Simpson wishes she felt this comfortable in her skin... just sayin...


More artistic narcissism to come! ;)