This time last year I was supposed to be in Spain. Which would have been my first time stepping foot on Spain. Let me backtrack here; last summer I was planning to visit Madrid and Barcelona and was planning to take amazing pictures, at amazing places, while eating amazing foods and drinking (probably drowning myself in) amazing wine.
And had I been there a year ago and gone on that trip, who knows where I would be now.
You see, that trip was planned with my ex-husband and, well, that trip never happened.
It's funny how people can hold things over you head and make you feel as if they, things, time and money are more worthy then you, and your gut feelings.
I never part took in the planning of that trip, nor was i excited about it. I think in my heart I always knew it would never happen. I mean, i had told my husband on our Euro-vaction the previous summer that I often thought of divorce and that the loving feeling I once had, was long gone.
I am grateful I had the guts to say no to that fabulous Spain trip, my comfortable life and our lovely home and; exchange it for a life, city and apartment which suits me much better.
I have still never traveled to Spain; and I haven't left the country since my last ill-fated Euro-Trip which was plagued with my bouts of pneumonia.
But in my life I have done somethings in my life that I always have dreamed of yet NEVER thought would ever come true.
I came from a world where you could only buy things to make you happy, like trips to Spain. And well, how can't you be happy about a trip to Spain?!
... I can tell you how...
Instead I now I find myself seeking happiness from within and from the art I create and the connections and relationships i build. And that, my friends, has made a whole new world of happy. A happy world that twenty-plus Louboutins and European Vacations never brought me.
Experiences like attending the 2012 VMA's, recording my first rap "song" and working on my art; are things you can't put a price-tag on. And yet, they are the things that have allowed me to feel the happiest I have felt in years.
And that realization means more to me then a trip to a place I will one day visit, and when I do visit Spain it will mean more to me then it ever would have a year ago today.
Where were you a year ago? Are you as happy, or perhaps happier then you were then? And what will you do, to make sure that eveyr year you strive to be your happiest?
I know I'll be following my dreams and I CAN'T wait to report back next September 12. But don't worry 'll be back before that!