Monday, March 10, 2014

Follow The Yellow Brick Road …

Next Monday, St. Patrick's Day, will mark my 2nd Anniversary of being a Resident in LA. And it's been a helluva two years. It's been an amazing soul searching challenge, and i am so proud of all that i have accomplished in the past two years.

I came to LA to reinvent myself. Well not really reinvent myself, but to become the person i always wanted to be. I came to LA  soon after my divorce had been finalized. I had spent my twenties working towards life I thought I wanted. I made big decisions early in my life. I got engaged when I was twenty one. Purchased a house when i was twenty two. Got married when i was twenty four.  None of those decisions do I regret in anyway. I spent my time learning how to be an adult, traveling the world, and working on a career & my education. My twenties were amazing. But as time passed i realized, while i loved my life, I wanted more. It was when I was sick in the hospital that i began to realize i was not truly happy. And more importantly i was not being authentically me.

So when i made the move to LA two years ago i was determined to be ME. Which i aptly named the "new me" Amber MFing Lane. In some ways i  became the complete opposite of the housewife / elementary school teacher i had been in my "previous life". But in all honestly i had never felt more me then i had ever felt. It was like a part of me that i had suffocated in my twenties was allowed to come back out & play. 

Moving to LA gave me a place to be free, to learn to grow and express myself the way i always wanted to express myself. 

Sure i made mistakes, but i learned from them. I stopped letting things get me down and i stopped listening to nay-sayers. And now that I am sober i have a clarity i have never had before.  I've had to face a lot of fears when i decided to completely change my life path. Rebuilding isn't easy, but sure as hell is worth it. A change will aways do you do. Small or Major.

And when tough times faced me, i maned up. I came to terms and learned to enjoy solitude (which at times felt like loneliness). I listened & looked to signs from the universe when i felt unsure. And they were always there, letting my know i was truly on my yellow brick road.

When i felt like my world had no structure i made structure. I made a list of three things i had to do every single day: 
1. Organize my life (starting with the small,  making my bed everyday for example) 
2. Have as many positive interactions with people as i possibly can (from saying hi to everyone i met, to saying yes to almost every invite i would get, and keeping in touch with my new & old friends). 
3. Creating something (whether it be an instagram post, or attending Acting Classes) creativity makes me thrive 

Whenever i felt lost, i concentrated on my list, and it always pushed me forward. I have learned that no matter the realm there will always be challenges. I was talking to my Dad the other day and was mentioning how i can't wait to have my House in The Hollywood Hills soon & have my own laundry machine. And he said, "well you have a lot more headaches when you own a house again." and I told I know there will challenges when owning a house but I'm in that realm I'll deal with them. Challenges don't spoil my dreams, they make them worth it. Life is never "perfect". It's just perfectly perfect in the moments when you are truly alive.

and I finally have learned to be happy with what you have in the moment. And I couldn't be happier now, living where i do focusing my creative energy on my dream and living in a city that so fully embraces that idea. 

i love being in a city that is full of dreamers! Because no matter where you are in life, even when happy, content, or comfortable; savor the moment, but ALWAYS strive for more. Because, like i said before, a change will always do you good. Big or small. And dreaming is never a bad thing, and I'm never gonna stop dreaming. 

So I'm gonna go LIVE my dream and kick off my last week of my second year in LA inna big way. Cuz let me just tell you my third year own is going to be MAJOR and I can't MFing wait for it.

Big shout out to ALL the amazing people i have met in my two years down here & to all that knew me before and supported me through this transition. I LOVE Y'ALL!!!



GO out and spread some LOVE , POSiTiViTY & DREAMS!! And follow go your Yellow Brick Road.









Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Hi my name is Amber & I'm a Badass...

okay fine, i was gonna say I'm an alcoholic, but i like saying imma Badass better. Right? Anyway, I'm working on 51 days of sobriety and i think that qualifies for badass, if i do say so myself (if i do say so myself, i do say so myself…)

And being a badass has me feeling some type of way. And that way i feel isn't drunk, hungover or depressed  -- it's amazing.

So yeah, first question most people ask me is: "did anything bad happen to get me to this point of sobriety?" Now that's a trick question. No, there was no final big blow-out with alcohol that i had. I mean plenty of not-good things had happened during my 15 year drinking binge. But, in fact, I actually had a few amazing things happen to me that led to my epiphany that it was time to stop drinking.

One of them was attending a Nylon magazine party back in December that was Hosted by Demi Lovato. It was was a sober event and it got the wheels spinning in my head that maybe it was time for my first sober year since i was sixteen.

I'd been a weekend warrior, and a full time alcoholic and i was FINALLY getting bored of the cycle. I came to realize that if i wanted my dreams to come true; it was time to face life without a crutch or  a glass of liquid courage in my hand.

I realized that drinking & being an alcoholic was a choice i was making. I never thought to say no to drinking, or stop once i started. I was having fun drinking! Or more like i was convincing myself i was having fun, and convincing myself the depression i felt wasn't from drinking. Shit, I needed a drink to drink that sadness right away! Never once did i want to admit i was bringing this all upon myself by my own choice.

Okay, maybe i did had a voice in the back of my head that blamed the alcohol for the shitty ways i felt. The voice that hated me for waking up hungover, felt ashamed that the liquor store owners knew my drinking patterns, and that voice that wondered if i'd still be fun if i didn't drink.

Well let me tell you, as a self proclaimed BADASS, hell yeah i'm just as fun. Shit, i'm even more fun now. I hit the town harder then i ever have before. Hollywood clubs ain't got nothing on me and my Red Bull. I can honestly say i have never had more fun in my life and i have never been happier then i am now. I'm drunk on life now, and that's something that can't be bottled & drank to make your dreams come true.

So shout out to ALL my friends & family that have been cheering me on. Everyone that has been there for me the past two months has been nothing but AMAZING!! Y'ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! And i am SO grateful for all the LOVE & support I have and so THANKFUL for all the opportunities i am given.

So who's ready to party? Cuz I sure am! Pass that non-alcoholic beer my way…. i'll still drink you under the table...

Cuz the way i feel, i'm strong enough to go to the club 
or the corner pub 
and lift the whole liquor counter up 
Cuz I'm raising the bar, 
i'd shoot for the moon but i'm too busy gazing at the stars 
i feel feel amazing i'm… not afraid.. 

Love y'all and cheers to being healthy & happy!! xoxo







Monday, January 13, 2014

ALL GOLD EVERYTHiNG


The Golden Globes are the first major award show of the season and I had an amazing time participating in some of the festivities this past weekend. Crazy to think that  this time two years ago i was staying at my mom's house in the Bay Area waiting for my divorce to be finalized; not knowing where my life was headed or what direction i was going in. And now i'm HERE in Hollywood California living my life long dream!!
From trying on 1/2 million dollar necklaces to hair pins once owned by Marlin Monroe and coming home with swag bags of regalia this weekend was unreal. Walt Disney was right about when you wish upon a STAR ... dreams do come true!
Cassandra Hein & I working it on the red carpet as correspondents for the GBK pre Golden Globe gifting suite. 

Air combs once owned by Marilyn Monroe that i had the privilege of trying on. We also got the opportunity to watch Besty Brant of Breaking bad pick out her jewelry for her Golden Globe Red carpet look & after party looks.

I had the opportunity to meet Bono only hours before he & U2 won A Golden Globe for Best Original Score at the 2014 golden globes.

Here is a video of our GBK pre Golden Globe gifting suite action:


Big thanks to The Style Lab & to the GBK gifting suite for hooking me up  and making me feel like an A-LiST celebrity! Pilot Pen, Airweve, Luminta, and Burke Williams Spa were just some of the big names kicking the first Award show week of 2014. It was an amazing weekend (my NiNERS even won!!!) i was so honored for all the opportunities i was given!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

2013 GBK Pre Emmy Gifting Suite

For as long as i can remember i have been interested in Celebrity culture. It all intrigued me, made me curious & most importantly, inspired me. I wanted to be a part of it, and in Hollywood that is truly is a possibility. And I sure have made the most of it! Last Friday I had the AMAZING opportunity to attend the 2013 GBK Pre Emmy gifting suite, and let's just say it had me feeling like a celebrity.
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When we first entered the GBK Pre Emmy gifting suite at the W Hotel in Hollywood we did my favorite thing... hit the Red Carpet (sponsored by Tidy Cats - light weight 24/7 Performance).  There's no better way to start off an event then feeling like a celebrity on the Step & Repeat.
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From there we scoped out the scene and checked out the first gifting area complete with sips from Sequin Wines (so sparkly, light & fun), nibbles from Blondies Cookies and  a manicure & eyelash station (complete with freebies) Kiss fake lashes & from imPRESS press on manicures (SO nineties rad, i loved it!).
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As we moved on to the next room my was energy buzzing (or maybe it was the Sequin Wine sips...) where we got hooked up by HEADWARE, learned about Planet Eco & got rad photobooth action from Action Flipbooks. We also got snacks from Oasis Mediterranean Cuisine & Ike's Sandwiches.
I was really excited to see Ike's rep the BAY AREA at the GBK pre Emmy gifting suite!!
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What more could a girl ask for? Oh a run in with Joey Tribiani - Mr. Matt Le Blanc himself.

How you doing? Well thanks sir for asking - I'm doing pretty DAMN well! 
Thank you Mr. LeBlanc!
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We also had the opportunity to meet (and get gifted by) reps from The Artisan Group, Sb Collections, TC intimates, Helzberg Diamonds, Lovely Candies & the Sweat Shop La. It was also nice to chat with The Creative Coalition, Lambda Legal, and GUARDaHEART Foundation all doing their part to spread social awareness & responsibility to the world via celebrities, which was really nice to see.
We had an amazing time and thank you so much for GBK Productions for having us out! Here is a video of the event covered by Bombasic TV where you can see more of our day at the GBK Pre Emmy Gifting suite!
Thanks again to GBK Productions and all the Sponsors! 
Happy Tuesday Everyone!!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Peroni Presents Jerome Rousseau's 5th year Anniversary

One thing i love about LA is the endless opportunities there are to meet really radical people, who do really awesome things. On tuesday I had the opportunity to attend Jerome Rousseau's 5th year anniversary party sponsored by Peroni at the Petite Ermitage in West Hollywood. It was so nice to check out the line, meet Jerome and even rub elbows with actresses & celebrities all while sipping on some cold brewed Peroni's. Make sure to check out the radical line and click here for more pictures from the event!
Aren't these just amazing?
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Happy Thursday everyone, and remember to put your best foot forward (in some fancy heels of course!).

Thursday, August 22, 2013

One Dress a Day

Last week I had the opportunity to check out some of the dresses from One Dress a Day Dot Com. And as a fan of party dresses, you know I loved it! The dresses were totally unique and perfect for a variety of occasions. It was an honor to check out the dresses in person and to learn more about the website.
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To find out more about the site check out the video about the site here:

Thursday, August 15, 2013

A Day With Zindigo at the #TRBeachhouse

There are some days i have to pinch myself and remind myself that this is real life, and Monday was definitely one of those days! From the moment I was sent the invitation to attend the Zindigo takes Malibu preview to day i stepped foot in the #TRBeachhouse I was giddy with excitement, to say the least.
Spending the day previewing a radical new e-commerce boutique website whilst chilling at a Malibu beach house? um, YES PLEASE!! And the day was all that i imagined and more. We spent the day snacking on a catered spread and sipping on voli light cocktails; all while checking out the amazing lines like Stella Valle & Rx Genesys (carried on Zindigo) in the Luxury of a Malibu beach house. I was one happy girl to say the least! And i am so honored to have had the opportunity to met an array of amazing people and learn about some really radical brands.
Here are some images from my Monday in Malibu:
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Thank you so much to the Zindigo Team & Pivotal PR for having us on out on Monday and make sure to check out Zindigo. My Zindigo shop will be set up soon, so I'll be sure to keep you updated!
Happy Thursday y'all!!


Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Dream Awake

About this time last year i started getting the acting bug down here in LA. I mean to be honest i had the acting bug my whole life. I always dreamed of being a movie star and being in the limelight. But that's where that idea always lived, in my dreams. Minus a few drama classes here and there, I never let that dream live anywhere but inside my own head. I didn't even dare share my crazy idea with anyone but myself. That is until I moved to Hollywood.

my seventh grade drama class picture
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When I moved down here I was surrounded with people perusing their own dreams, many of them actually booking jobs and  making money on their wild & crazy dreams (who'da thunk?!). And that was a phenomenon I have never actually witnessed in person before. To me making money off your dreams was something i had only read about or saw on TV, i had never actually seen anyone pull it off.

Even after all my years of watching Oprah and hearing "do what you love" I never could fully figure out how to put that concept into fruition in my own life. For some reason I felt guilty perusing my own selfish dream. And for whatever reason I was somewhat embarrassed to admit I wanted to be an actress. So instead I choose the path of becoming a teacher. And teaching was a good choice for me because educating and inspiring people is something I am truly passionate about, but unfortunately a teaching career did not fulfill all my desires.

My passion & love is truly in the fantasy world and in the make believe. I believe in the romantic, the wonderful and the impossible. Acting my way to play pretend, and share my fantastical ideas, as well as my real life emotions i have faced. As much as I love it it, acting is not easy for me. It's hard and it hurts. And it makes me feels awkward and uncomfortable; but the thrill and adrenaline rush i get from nailing scene is one of the best feelings i have ever had. So far acting class has been the best therapy i have ever had in my life. I am so happy i finally let my dream of being an actress out of my head and let my dream enter the real world. It's amazing what can happen when those dreams in our heads meet reality.

Dreams are thoughts and feeling we should never be ashamed of and should never hold in. Think how amazing our world could be if we all filled it up with our dreams? I mean, I don't know about you, but I would sure love to live in a dream filled fantasy world. And that's what i'm doing here in Hollywood; making my dreams a reality. What are you doing to today to make your crazy dreams come true? Even if it's just thinking about it, writing about it or (if you dare) share it (them) with someone will a make that dream just a bit closer to reality. And don't ever be silly like me and think it's selfish to peruse your own dream. Think about any person you look up to or anyone that has changed the world (big or small), and what if they had kept their to their selves?

 Happy Tuesday and go dream away!! I will!!

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Thursday, May 30, 2013

LA Life: HEADLiNES

As much as life down here has been a dream (and it has been nothing short of it) the personal challenges i face head-on these days aren't always the easiest for me to get through. I used to shy away from personal challenges. I would keep my emotions to myself (except when they came out in anger outbursts) and using alcohol as tool to numb any emotions i didn't want to deal with. My life had gone through a 180' transition (from a wife & elementary school teacher who never moved away from her hometown) to a single lady living alone in a new city and living the LA life.
I was excited as hell, but i didn't have the easiest time with the transition. Bartenders and liquor store owners became some of my first friends down here. They were easy to get to know & i was eager to numb my growing pains. Trader Joe's had become my local drug dealer shelling out $4.00 bottles of wine that I could pick up without being judged too hard. Eating & sleeping took a back seat to my drinking habits.
I quickly gained the reputation of the Party girl (sans the drugs!) who had an open balcony and a fridge full of wine. Everyone knew where to go if they were lonely, felt like partying or wanted a glass of vino.
I was coping with change and wine became not only my best friend but it was also a means for me to meet real friends. I relied on it... HEAVILY.
























Not a day went by when I wasn't popping a bottles of champagne & wine. I think I took Drake too serious when he said "Drinkin every night because we drink to my accomplishments." Cuz I was literally "floating in and out of conciseness." I'm sure if you followed my twitter or Instagram you *MAY* have caught onto that...
Drinking has been an on and off crutch of mine since I first started drinking. But as head toward my 10th anniversary of being a legal drinker I am proud to say I believe my days of needing that crutch are on hold. I've had four beers this week. And DAMN that is a DRASTIC change.
Since I seriously slowed my drinking I have become more conscious of my actions. I have gotten back my desire to write & blog again. and I even my drive back to workout, eat and sleep (being heathy shall we say?).  I've even opened up my heart up to love again!
I feel like all the "Amber's" I've been over the years are slowly melding into the Best Amber i can be. You know, that dreamer who wants to conquer all her world.
I still have a TON of work to do on myself (but i am well aware that work will never stop!). But I am willing to do what it takes to get to where i want to be (you know making the HEADLiNES).
But I know I couldn't have had the strength and desire to change my ways without all my friends & fam that gave it to me Drake style, and let me know "i fell off, oh i needed that. And they want see me pick back up."
My family, friends and boyfriend expect nothing less then the best from me (and much as i fight it at it times) i know their push gives me all the drive I need to accomplish what i want. And let's face it i work best when people expect the BEST from me, let me make mistakes and give me their honest opinions. And when i fall off "They know, They Know, They Know...."

























And conquering goals like getting back into an intimate relationship (as well as knowing I am also capable being single & celibate for over a year) have been challenging but well worth the growth i have gained from facing those fears. Andy has been right there with me the past four months pushing me harder then i have been pushed in awhile and never holds back when i start slip. and I am more then grateful he came into my life and became my boyfriend! LOVE YOU BABE!

So here's to facing those challenges head on and celebrating life, love and accomplishments with more then bottles of champagne & wine! A conscious life is one that enjoyable and feels just as good as a buzz, and feels WAY better then a blackout.
Love you all and thanks for all your support!! 

Xoxo Amber

Monday, May 20, 2013

Weekly Wants: SoCal Summer

Summer is just around the corner (and so is my thirty first birthday ... WOW!) so it's about time to start thinking about what I'll be rocking around town. From hanging at the Malibu, to rocking it out at  Hollywood events; i'm gonna need gear I can rock while i longboard in Venice in (Andy took me out for my first lesson yesterday & I can't wait to be a skater girl with him this summer!!) and 'fits ready for the LA social scene. Here are a few styles/pieces i am eyeing to rock this 31st summer of mine... It's gonna be a good one, I can tell!!

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and for more of mty musing find me on Pintrest, Twitter and Instagram (Ambersnotebook).
Have a greta monday y'all!!

xoxo Amber