Thursday, August 28, 2014

PEN & Story TELLER … Making Magic Happen

I moved to LA for a dream. A dream of telling stories & sharing them with people. Stories teach lessons. Stories inspire people. Stories are my favorite. If you ever sit me down and get me to open up i'll probably won't stop telling stories & theories to you. It's probably my favorite thing to do, so i moved down to LA where story telling is the name of the game. The Music, Movie & Television industries are story telling machines & i can't wait to tell my story & the story of others in all sorts of mediums.

I got into the public story telling game online & that is always my go-to. If you follow my twitter & instagram it's a glimpse at some of the stories i tell. it's a perspective of the world from my point of view. And since moving to LA i have emerged myself in the Entertainment business & studying the ways of artistic story telling.

Back in April (at my three month sober mark) I applied to James Franco's Playhouse West Studio 4 acting school & i have been studying there ever since. At Studio Four I have not only found my confidence in being an actor (a confidence i was petrified of for awhile) but i have also found a lovely & ever growing family of artists like me, who share the love of story telling. And being surrounded by artists & fellow story stores has finally given me a sense of HOME here in LA. Plus it's given me AMAZING opportunities like auditioning for Rabbit Bandini Productions (AKA James Frano's Production Company) projects.

There is so much i want to do & still so many stories i want to tell & write. And just in case you listening universe: I want to act (and eventually direct, produce, screen write) in amazing movies (I really want to bring old school glamour back & be in some westerns!!!). I also would love a behind the scenes special on like HBO or something, cuz i drop F-Bombs a lot & smoke pot. I also REALLY want have a country/rap music album. Lastly, I'd love a  magazine column, a book deal & a fashion line at some point.

I'm on that mogul game & I'm just taking in everything I can by this wonderful land of LA filled with dreamers, doers & story tellers.

So as my Dad always told me about living life "write your story."

& that's what I'm working on.

So let me ask you, what's your story?

Now let's all go out write our own stories. And make them REALLy good!! You inspire me & maybe I can inspire you.

LOVE Y'ALL & Happy Thursday!!

…. at the 2014 HBO emmy after party … just manifesting HBO cameras  following me around ….

Friday, May 16, 2014

Stuck in Her Daydream ...

Since I was a little girl I dreamed of being able to wear pretty dresses. Whether I was playing Barbies, watching My Fair Lady or looking at pictures of Princess Diana I have always been fascinated by gowns & the women who wore them. Wearing ball gowns & princess dresses has always been an ultimate fantasy of mine. I even dreamed of being a fashion designer, mostly, because I dreamed of wearing dresses I designed. In high school I would design & make my own dresses so I could say I was wearing my own design at school dances.
So last night at the Chagoury Couture event  it felt like my dreams were beginning to come true. Not only did i get to try on a couple of Chagoury Couture gowns, I also got to try my hand at a chance to be a guest designer with Chagoury Couture!! Two dreams coming to fruition on one night had me giddy as could be!!! 
Thank you so much to Pivotal PR for having me out & helping me feel like a kid and a princess all in one night!! Y'all are amazing!!

Checking out the behind the sciences of Chagoury Couture designs. This felt like a dream world to me! I love seeing where artists create magic!
My dress design. I was feeling a little retro with my look.
And then i played dress up …
and it was AWESOME!
I was TOTALLY pretending i was on the Cannes red carpet. You know just getting in some practice before next year … (i'm always Manifesting!!)
Four year old Amber would have been pretty MFing proud of 31 year old Amber last night. 
Been doing my signature pose since i first started day-dreaming of dressing up …
Go out and make YOUR dreams happen.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Soya Wanna Dream ?

Things have been going really well down here in Hollywood, California. In April i started acting classes at James Franco's Studio 4 Playhouse West and it has been nothing short of amazing. From the opportunities I have been given to the people i have i met it has all rocked my world. But Most importunely I have learned so much about my self, my character and my drive.

… and when i'm not so gosh darn nervous, excited and scatterbrained i'll wrote more on that. I mean I got a have a script to memorize!!

But seriously, going to acting classes not only help me hone my skills as an actor but it also helps me become a better a person. I learn so much about myself during the classes and the whole acting process. And this weekend i am SO excited to shoot my first Film! It's going to be an awesome experience and I can't wait to share more with y'all soon. But for now I am focused on the job at hand and counting my blessing for having the courage to go after my dreams.

Big thanks to Pivotal PR & SEXY HAIR for hooking my up with their new Soya Want it all products. I'll be having the products on hand on set so the  hair stylist can help pump up my volume, sexiness & confidence. You know everything a Hollywood actress needs (… I say that as if i am convincing myself). Cuz I'm gonna need a lot of it!! I'm scared & excited as heck!! Thanks again SEXY HAIR & Pivotal PR !!! So nice i have y'all cheering  me on!! It means the world to me!!

Have a fabulous weekend!! Hope you do whatever makes you truly HAPPY!! Go out LIVE your life .. the one you always dreamed of!!!

Monday, March 10, 2014

Follow The Yellow Brick Road …

Next Monday, St. Patrick's Day, will mark my 2nd Anniversary of being a Resident in LA. And it's been a helluva two years. It's been an amazing soul searching challenge, and i am so proud of all that i have accomplished in the past two years.

I came to LA to reinvent myself. Well not really reinvent myself, but to become the person i always wanted to be. I came to LA  soon after my divorce had been finalized. I had spent my twenties working towards life I thought I wanted. I made big decisions early in my life. I got engaged when I was twenty one. Purchased a house when i was twenty two. Got married when i was twenty four.  None of those decisions do I regret in anyway. I spent my time learning how to be an adult, traveling the world, and working on a career & my education. My twenties were amazing. But as time passed i realized, while i loved my life, I wanted more. It was when I was sick in the hospital that i began to realize i was not truly happy. And more importantly i was not being authentically me.

So when i made the move to LA two years ago i was determined to be ME. Which i aptly named the "new me" Amber MFing Lane. In some ways i  became the complete opposite of the housewife / elementary school teacher i had been in my "previous life". But in all honestly i had never felt more me then i had ever felt. It was like a part of me that i had suffocated in my twenties was allowed to come back out & play. 

Moving to LA gave me a place to be free, to learn to grow and express myself the way i always wanted to express myself. 

Sure i made mistakes, but i learned from them. I stopped letting things get me down and i stopped listening to nay-sayers. And now that I am sober i have a clarity i have never had before.  I've had to face a lot of fears when i decided to completely change my life path. Rebuilding isn't easy, but sure as hell is worth it. A change will aways do you do. Small or Major.

And when tough times faced me, i maned up. I came to terms and learned to enjoy solitude (which at times felt like loneliness). I listened & looked to signs from the universe when i felt unsure. And they were always there, letting my know i was truly on my yellow brick road.

When i felt like my world had no structure i made structure. I made a list of three things i had to do every single day: 
1. Organize my life (starting with the small,  making my bed everyday for example) 
2. Have as many positive interactions with people as i possibly can (from saying hi to everyone i met, to saying yes to almost every invite i would get, and keeping in touch with my new & old friends). 
3. Creating something (whether it be an instagram post, or attending Acting Classes) creativity makes me thrive 

Whenever i felt lost, i concentrated on my list, and it always pushed me forward. I have learned that no matter the realm there will always be challenges. I was talking to my Dad the other day and was mentioning how i can't wait to have my House in The Hollywood Hills soon & have my own laundry machine. And he said, "well you have a lot more headaches when you own a house again." and I told I know there will challenges when owning a house but I'm in that realm I'll deal with them. Challenges don't spoil my dreams, they make them worth it. Life is never "perfect". It's just perfectly perfect in the moments when you are truly alive.

and I finally have learned to be happy with what you have in the moment. And I couldn't be happier now, living where i do focusing my creative energy on my dream and living in a city that so fully embraces that idea. 

i love being in a city that is full of dreamers! Because no matter where you are in life, even when happy, content, or comfortable; savor the moment, but ALWAYS strive for more. Because, like i said before, a change will always do you good. Big or small. And dreaming is never a bad thing, and I'm never gonna stop dreaming. 

So I'm gonna go LIVE my dream and kick off my last week of my second year in LA inna big way. Cuz let me just tell you my third year own is going to be MAJOR and I can't MFing wait for it.

Big shout out to ALL the amazing people i have met in my two years down here & to all that knew me before and supported me through this transition. I LOVE Y'ALL!!!

GO out and spread some LOVE , POSiTiViTY & DREAMS!! And follow go your Yellow Brick Road.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Hi my name is Amber & I'm a Badass...

okay fine, i was gonna say I'm an alcoholic, but i like saying imma Badass better. Right? Anyway, I'm working on 51 days of sobriety and i think that qualifies for badass, if i do say so myself (if i do say so myself, i do say so myself…)

And being a badass has me feeling some type of way. And that way i feel isn't drunk, hungover or depressed  -- it's amazing.

So yeah, first question most people ask me is: "did anything bad happen to get me to this point of sobriety?" Now that's a trick question. No, there was no final big blow-out with alcohol that i had. I mean plenty of not-good things had happened during my 15 year drinking binge. But, in fact, I actually had a few amazing things happen to me that led to my epiphany that it was time to stop drinking.

One of them was attending a Nylon magazine party back in December that was Hosted by Demi Lovato. It was was a sober event and it got the wheels spinning in my head that maybe it was time for my first sober year since i was sixteen.

I'd been a weekend warrior, and a full time alcoholic and i was FINALLY getting bored of the cycle. I came to realize that if i wanted my dreams to come true; it was time to face life without a crutch or  a glass of liquid courage in my hand.

I realized that drinking & being an alcoholic was a choice i was making. I never thought to say no to drinking, or stop once i started. I was having fun drinking! Or more like i was convincing myself i was having fun, and convincing myself the depression i felt wasn't from drinking. Shit, I needed a drink to drink that sadness right away! Never once did i want to admit i was bringing this all upon myself by my own choice.

Okay, maybe i did had a voice in the back of my head that blamed the alcohol for the shitty ways i felt. The voice that hated me for waking up hungover, felt ashamed that the liquor store owners knew my drinking patterns, and that voice that wondered if i'd still be fun if i didn't drink.

Well let me tell you, as a self proclaimed BADASS, hell yeah i'm just as fun. Shit, i'm even more fun now. I hit the town harder then i ever have before. Hollywood clubs ain't got nothing on me and my Red Bull. I can honestly say i have never had more fun in my life and i have never been happier then i am now. I'm drunk on life now, and that's something that can't be bottled & drank to make your dreams come true.

So shout out to ALL my friends & family that have been cheering me on. Everyone that has been there for me the past two months has been nothing but AMAZING!! Y'ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! And i am SO grateful for all the LOVE & support I have and so THANKFUL for all the opportunities i am given.

So who's ready to party? Cuz I sure am! Pass that non-alcoholic beer my way…. i'll still drink you under the table...

Cuz the way i feel, i'm strong enough to go to the club 
or the corner pub 
and lift the whole liquor counter up 
Cuz I'm raising the bar, 
i'd shoot for the moon but i'm too busy gazing at the stars 
i feel feel amazing i'm… not afraid.. 

Love y'all and cheers to being healthy & happy!! xoxo

Monday, January 13, 2014


The Golden Globes are the first major award show of the season and I had an amazing time participating in some of the festivities this past weekend. Crazy to think that  this time two years ago i was staying at my mom's house in the Bay Area waiting for my divorce to be finalized; not knowing where my life was headed or what direction i was going in. And now i'm HERE in Hollywood California living my life long dream!!
From trying on 1/2 million dollar necklaces to hair pins once owned by Marlin Monroe and coming home with swag bags of regalia this weekend was unreal. Walt Disney was right about when you wish upon a STAR ... dreams do come true!
Cassandra Hein & I working it on the red carpet as correspondents for the GBK pre Golden Globe gifting suite. 

Air combs once owned by Marilyn Monroe that i had the privilege of trying on. We also got the opportunity to watch Besty Brant of Breaking bad pick out her jewelry for her Golden Globe Red carpet look & after party looks.

I had the opportunity to meet Bono only hours before he & U2 won A Golden Globe for Best Original Score at the 2014 golden globes.

Here is a video of our GBK pre Golden Globe gifting suite action:

Big thanks to The Style Lab & to the GBK gifting suite for hooking me up  and making me feel like an A-LiST celebrity! Pilot Pen, Airweve, Luminta, and Burke Williams Spa were just some of the big names kicking the first Award show week of 2014. It was an amazing weekend (my NiNERS even won!!!) i was so honored for all the opportunities i was given!