Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Things I Love: The Path I've Chosen To Go

I arrived home from Vegas last week, but I've spent the past week trying to find my heart & my inner strength. After leaving a high intensity place with so much energy, it's hard for me to come back to my life in the Bay Area and feel the same.
Things these days things just feel odd and like I've mentioned before no place feels like "home" to me anymore. So when I come back to the town where I used to live. In a house. With a husband.Working as a teacher. It's hard to come back as the new Amber. An Amber still trying to find her way on this new path. The things I used to take for granted are all peppered with reminders of my old life. My friendships, trips to the dentist, and grocery store are anything but easy these days. And that's hard pill to swallow.
Going to the dentist isn't exactly everyone's favorite activity; and when you throw in having to explain to the technician, dentist and then again to the receptionist that you are divorced makes it just that much more enjoyable. It's the little things that are the hardest and, well, hurt the most. It's the big things that I get to put big band-aids on, in the forms of trips to Vegas and LA.
Life changes AREN'T easy.
I do hurt.
Loneliness is the hardest thing to deal with, for myself. But I believe I am a much stronger person now and have a newfound clarity on how I would like to live my life. I'm all but certain that my life will continue to be vagabond-ish in the meantime.
While coming back to "reality" made me sad, no lies, Vegas was a BLAST. Um I'm pretty much IN LOVE with Cosmopolitan Hotel, Kaskade and Calvin Harris. Sara & I lived it UP and danced like crazy.
I love the high I get from dancing, sometimes I get a good feeling...
And you know I love a place where I get to rock a party dress every night. LOVE!
We danced at Marquee to Kaskade and at XS to Calvin Harris, both places were very cool and Umm the DJ's? I am in love.
Dancing is something I never did when I was married and now I cannot get ENOUGH.
And coincidentally, my LONG-TIME online friend Wendy, was in town. It was so nice to see her, catch up and introduce her to Sara. Wendy is an awesome person and has been an amazing support and inspiration to me. We had two unforgettable trips to LA together over the years (I mean we met Britney together!! ) and I'm so glad I have someone like her in my life.
And you know I did a little shopping. I mean it is Vegas!! I hit up the All Saints 70% off sale and grabbed this, and this sweater. I love the funky unique details of All Saints pieces.
We also ate at some amazing restaurants. Our favorites were La Cave at The Wynn (Bacon wrapped dates and the Crab Lump salad were AMAZE) and Jaleo at Marquee (amazing cocktails, small plates and paella - the endives are a must get). I love to eat good, quality food and Vegas brought it.
And after dinner go head down to Vesper at The Cosmopolitan, find Rodger and have him teach you a thing or two about quality cocktails. Dude knows his drinks, and they are MIGHTY tasty.
It was a good, good time. And I rolled solo. Thank you Suzy for giving my trip an anthem!!
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Wishing you all the strength to get through any hard times you may be facing.
Big or small.
And if someone you know is going through a hard time or a life chance, make an effort to reach out to them. They'll appreciate it and it'll make you feel good.
I like two for ones.


  1. Ahhhhhh the cosmopolitan is the CUTEST hotel on the strip! The argyle on the walls and chandeliers every - I nearly passed out. I think we may stay there for my bachelorette party. So excited! Hang in there and dance your pants off, you're strong chicky - don't forget that!

  2. I'm currently planning my friend's bachelorette in Vegas and the cosmopolitan may be it!!! Thanks for the suggestions. Also, dancing is life's best remedy, keep at it! :) :)

  3. I lvoe everything about this post!

  4. Looks like you had a blast! And just wanted to give some virtual hugs as you get through the changes and life adjustments... I hope it starts to get easier!

  5. Glad to see your doing well:) Chin up lady, know you are a very big part of many people's lives. Can't wait to get some Amber time down in LA :)

    xo Carlina

  6. I could have written this post on my blog. I totally get where you are at (I am not divorced but ending a six year relationship and living with someone brings up similar emotions. I wish more people would recognize what I am going through at the moment and not worry so much about the things that already happened. I am glad you had a blast on your trips. I need to do something like that too!! Vegas has been calling my name! I wish you the best as you travel this road!

  7. Looks like you had a blast in Vegas, and you looked fabulous the whole time! You're always such an inspiration!



  8. You know, sometimes the hardest part of change is accepting it, even when you think you have. You don't have to "come back as the new Amber". You are the new Amber! And you're warm, kind and a blast to be around...just by being you. You don't need to turn on the "new Amber show". Just be you. And if people don't like it, eff them. You need to make YOU happy. Everything else will fall into place, I promise.

    Keep your head up!

  9. Hi Amber - I somehow fell behind on your blog, and have only now caught up with what's been going on with you. I'm so sorry you're going through this rough patch, and hope you're doing okay (and it seems you are, overall). Sending you lots of love and happy thoughts for those lonelier, more confusing moments. -Carol

  10. Good luck with everything and remember to keep finding ways to have fun no matter what!

  11. Such an inspirational post. Keep on going girl, you have the right attitude and you will get through this. You are a strong woman. XO

  12. I miss you! I hope you are taking care of yourself - you are a great person and I want you to be happy!!

  13. Haha,no problem- it's THE perfect song!

    Glad you had fun.


  14. Good for you for loving the path you are on! I have been trying to find what my new direction is, after so big changes and a difficult time at the end of 2011. I think after my recent time in NYC with a good friend that I have found it...I just need to really take control of things and make them happen and I truly believe that everything happens for a reason! :) I too found myself hurting at times and lonely, though I know I'm not because I am surrounded by the most extraordinary family and friends, but I know exactly how you were feeling! Thank you for sharing this, Amber! Lots of hugs and smiles to you!

    Liesl :)

  15. Love your site. 
    I use to follow but I 
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  16. You are on a new adventure that is going to take you to a place that you realize you had to go through all of this to get there! Love you! XX

  17. Happy Friday!

    Just wanted to let you know that I just tagged you in a fun "Facts of Life" tag in case you want to join in!

    Thank you for all of your support on my blog and the lovely comments you leave too! Hope you have a Wonderful Weekend!

    Liesl :)

  18. Great post, Amber. I think a night out dancing together in SF is in order! xo

  19. glad you had a fun time in vegas! i hope you find your place soon enough :) xo

  20. Great Read Am!! You look Amazing in the blue dress! So glad you were brave enough to make the changes you needed to be happy! xoxo, B