I arrived home from Vegas last week, but I've spent the past week trying to find my heart & my inner strength. After leaving a high intensity place with so much energy, it's hard for me to come back to my life in the Bay Area and feel the same.
Things these days things just feel odd and like I've mentioned before no place feels like "home" to me anymore. So when I come back to the town where I used to live. In a house. With a husband.Working as a teacher. It's hard to come back as the new Amber. An Amber still trying to find her way on this new path. The things I used to take for granted are all peppered with reminders of my old life. My friendships, trips to the dentist, and grocery store are anything but easy these days. And that's hard pill to swallow.
Going to the dentist isn't exactly everyone's favorite activity; and when you throw in having to explain to the technician, dentist and then again to the receptionist that you are divorced makes it just that much more enjoyable. It's the little things that are the hardest and, well, hurt the most. It's the big things that I get to put big band-aids on, in the forms of trips to Vegas and LA.
Life changes AREN'T easy.
I do hurt.
Loneliness is the hardest thing to deal with, for myself. But I believe I am a much stronger person now and have a newfound clarity on how I would like to live my life. I'm all but certain that my life will continue to be vagabond-ish in the meantime.
While coming back to "reality" made me sad, no lies, Vegas was a BLAST. Um I'm pretty much IN LOVE with Cosmopolitan Hotel, Kaskade and Calvin Harris. Sara & I lived it UP and danced like crazy.
I love the high I get from dancing, sometimes I get a good feeling...
And you know I love a place where I get to rock a party dress every night. LOVE!
We danced at Marquee to Kaskade and at XS to Calvin Harris, both places were very cool and Umm the DJ's? I am in love.
Dancing is something I never did when I was married and now I cannot get ENOUGH.
And coincidentally, my LONG-TIME online friend Wendy, was in town. It was so nice to see her, catch up and introduce her to Sara. Wendy is an awesome person and has been an amazing support and inspiration to me. We had two unforgettable trips to LA together over the years (I mean we met Britney together!! ) and I'm so glad I have someone like her in my life.
And you know I did a little shopping. I mean it is Vegas!! I hit up the All Saints 70% off sale and grabbed this, and this sweater. I love the funky unique details of All Saints pieces.
We also ate at some amazing restaurants. Our favorites were La Cave at The Wynn (Bacon wrapped dates and the Crab Lump salad were AMAZE) and Jaleo at Marquee (amazing cocktails, small plates and paella - the endives are a must get). I love to eat good, quality food and Vegas brought it.
And after dinner go head down to Vesper at The Cosmopolitan, find Rodger and have him teach you a thing or two about quality cocktails. Dude knows his drinks, and they are MIGHTY tasty.
It was a good, good time. And I rolled solo. Thank you Suzy for giving my trip an anthem!!
Wishing you all the strength to get through any hard times you may be facing.
Big or small.
And if someone you know is going through a hard time or a life chance, make an effort to reach out to them. They'll appreciate it and it'll make you feel good.
I like two for ones.